A few weeks ago, my husband and I were watching a holiday baking competition on TV. At the beginning of the episode, all the competitors were arriving on-site, getting settled and introducing themselves to one another. There was one lady in particular who we found amusing. She would introduce herself like this, “Hi I’m Jane, and I’m a three-time baking champion.” Of course, the contestant she was introducing herself to would be suitably impressed and intimidated.
We had a good laugh as we tried to identify ways we could introduce ourselves in the future. “Hi, I’m Kathryn, three-time finalist in my elementary school art contest.”
“Hi, I’m Brandon, recipient of my daughter’s Best Dad Award, 17 years in a row!”
But then all the joking brought a memory to the surface that shifted the tone of my thoughts completely.
It was something my professor had told me at the beginning of my Master’s degree program in directing. He said, that when people ask me what I do I should tell them I am a theatre director. Not a director in training or a future director, but a full-fledged director. He claimed that if I did this it would have a powerful effect on my confidence and would help me take ownership of what I was doing.
So, I tried it. I felt silly at first because I did not feel confident at all. In fact, I felt like a fraud whenever I told anyone I was a director. But over time, things changed and I actually began to feel like a director.
Did you know, that your brain believes what you tell it? The labels you give yourself are powerful! When you give yourself positive labels they help you become the very best version of yourself. But, when you use them negatively to point out your flaws and weaknesses, they can have a debilitating effect over time.
If you are frequently telling yourself that you are impatient, your brain says, “Oh! It must be true.” And then guess what happens? You actually become more impatient! Each time you think it, the pathways in your brain responsible for those beliefs become deeper and stronger. And the deeper and stronger those neuropathways become the more we act accordingly. It’s a horrible cycle of negativity and self-fulfilling prophecy!
I am not saying that we should ignore our weaknesses and pretend they aren’t there. But please, do not limit your potential for growth by defining yourself with negative traits! Next time you find yourself about to say, “I have depression,” try this instead: “I am a wonderfully strong person who is fighting depression.”
Instead of saying “I am disorganized,” try “I can struggle to keep my home organized, but I’m not giving up.”
Instead of, “I am shy,” try “Talking to new people can make me nervous, but I do it anyway because I am stronger than my fears.”
So take a minute today and think about the kind of person you want to be. What kinds of things do you want to define you? Don’t worry if you aren’t quite there yet. Do you write? It doesn’t matter if you haven’t published anything yet. You ARE a writer! Do you try to be more kind? Then you ARE kind! See what I mean? Write a list of the words you want to define you and keep it where you can see it. Then say those things to yourself and repeat them often, because the more you say it, the more true it becomes!
I am strong.
I am powerful.
I am confident.
I am fighting depression.
I will never give up.
I am a lover of beauty.
I am kind.
I am a creator.
I am a teacher.
I am the World’s Best Mom (for 17 years in a row!)
I am a child of God.
WHO ARE YOU???
