NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS
Ugh. For years I struggled with them. I love the fresh start a new year brings and each time January rolls around, I am certain that this will be the year I become the perfect person I want to become. I am filled with goals to get me there. I can see myself exercising, eating healthier, being more organized, having deep and regular scripture study and being more patient and trusting.
So I jump into the new year, full of hope and determination. But, inevitably, all my resolutions begin to fail one by one, and my goal changes to simply making it through the year so I can try all my goals again next year. Of course, the next year arrives and the cycle begins again.
I make the resolutions. And I try my best to follow them, but suddenly a week has passed and I realize I have forgotten to exercise, or life gets crazy and my meaningful scripture study turns to a quick chapter or verse squeezed into my busy morning. Or maybe my healthy eating takes a nose dive during a time of great stress. And when those things happen, failure rears its ugly head and I sadly give up on another resolution.
We’ve all been there, right? (Please tell, me it’s not just me!) It seems like there are always things waiting to derail our resolutions at some point during the year. So is there a better way to set goals for the new year? A way that will not leave us feeling discouraged and like a failure?
I think there is.
A KINDER WAY
A few years ago, a friend introduced me to the idea of picking a focus for the year, instead of making specific goals.
Just one word, I thought. That’s not very specific. What about all my little goals? How can one word possibly be very effective?
She explained that for the previous year she had picked the word “Create”. She had wanted to start quilting and various other creative endeavors that year, but instead of setting specific goals she simply chose the word “Create” as her focus for the year.
So through out the year, she tried to do things that would help her to create. She created quilts, she created meals, she created friendships, etc., etc..
So while I was busy beating myself up for failing at my goals, she was giving herself credit for all the little things she did each day that helped her to create.
Can you see the difference? Now there is nothing wrong with striving to say your prayers every day or exercise three times a week. The problem comes when our goals require absolute perfection. Why is this a problem? Because we are not perfect. The world is not perfect and our circumstances often fall far short of perfection as well. It is inevitable that we will mess up at some point and instead of being disappointed with ourselves and giving up on our goal, we need a way that offers us grace and understanding and focuses on all the good we are doing instead of putting the focus on the times we fall short.
God does not look down on us and say, “Wow, you were doing really well, but you blew by snapping at your kids at lunch so now the whole day is a total loss. Tough luck. Looks like you failed at something else.”
Of course, it seems ridiculous that He would say that to us, doesn’t it? And yet we say very similar things to ourselves all the time. If God gives us grace and praises all our efforts, no matter how small or short-lived, can’t we learn to do the same for ourselves?
SET YOURSELF UP FOR SUCCESS!
So for the next year, instead of setting myself up for failure by setting a goal to exercise and not eat any treats for the rest of the year, I chose “Wellness” for my focus word.
Instead of beating myself up every time I forgot to exercise or indulged in a treat, I gave myself a pat on the back for everything I did that contributed to my mental, physical, emotional, spiritual and social health!
One day, I took a nap: Hurray! I gave my body the rest I needed!
Another day, I took a walk: Way to go, me! I gave my body exercise!
One time I chose water instead of soda: I am totally rocking this year!
I saw my doctor about my depression: Phew! That was a toughy, but look at me go!
I met a friend for lunch: Hurray to me, for taking care of my relationships!
Do you see how much better that feels? It may seem silly or funny at first because we are not used to being so kind and encouraging to ourselves, but stick with it!
When we focus on all we are doing instead of focusing on our mistakes and the things we don’t do, it sets something powerful in motion. The momentum we create encourages and inspires us to continue bettering ourselves long after other resolutions have been forgotten.
So what do you think? Are you ready to be more loving and kind to yourself? Are you ready to have a year of successes and victories instead of failures and discouragement? Are you ready to let go of guilt and focus on the positive things you are doing instead of the things you aren’t?
Let’s join together in a whole new way of living. See where it will take you!
My focus for this year is “Simplicity”.
What’s yours?
